i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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