So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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