I want to make a zoo with you.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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