i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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