Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
