where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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