turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
