My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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