Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
