guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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