Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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