Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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