Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
