dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
