Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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