I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
