It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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