I just saw a hot homeless man
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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