Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
