My nipple is on Facebook.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
