You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
