I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
