If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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