yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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