office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
