I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
