spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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