loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
