My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
