Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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