New invention idea: vibrating tampons
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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