bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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