It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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