The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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