Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
