Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
