I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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