I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
