She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I accidentally burped into my bong.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
