i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
