3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He felt like a one man threesome
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
