Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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