white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
A bitchslap is in order.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize