Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Welp...herpes.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
