Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize