When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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