just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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