I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I forget how to act sober
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
