what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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