he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
