Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
