kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
