Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is Oprah even human
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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