Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
