too bad you live with your parents still
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
