Already got asked if we're dating
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
