I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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