Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
