hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
