no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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