His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
