I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
