I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
