how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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