i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
