we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I party with great urgency now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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