Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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