hotel room ftw
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
